Friends, Enemies, and Internet Losers: I have returned.

A little lesson in advertising

Lets pretend for a moment that while sitting on your couch, you accidentally spill beer into your bowl of Hawkin’s Cheezies at the same instant that your Clapper shorts out, giving you and your Cheezie slurry one hell of a jolt. When you regain consciousness, to your surprise, you’ve discovered a cure for cancer. So what? No one knows. You could have the greatest product in the world but if the public isn’t aware of it they can’t/won’t buy it.

I read an article on Slate.com today that included a picture of an Obama supporter in the midst of a Tea Party rally, holding a sign that read, “All These People Are Idiots.” This seems to be the only place we see pictures of Obama supporters anymore. You see, content people are boring. They don’t make for good news; whereas, a group of overweight, undereducated malcontents waving “Don’t Tread on Me” flags and screaming about communsim make for good media coverage. Start whipping bricks through the window of a Democrat’s constituency office and you’re sure to be the lead at 11 o’clock. There has been a lot of talk this week about Ann Coulter’s trip to Canada. Yes, our Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees us the freedom of speech and expression but how many people have actually read the Charter?

A society like Canada is built on two political philosophies: natural rights and utilitarianism. Proponents of natural rights believe that as humans we have the right do to pretty much whatever we damn well please. This is an interesting notion, always linked to the belief that humans will always work in the best interest of themselves and other humans. Doesn’t work (the “and other humans” part). Utilitarianism is the belief that what is good for the greatest number of people rules the day. This is how societies maintian themselves.

If you actually read all of the Charter, instead of just quoting the good bits that seem to give you the right to do whatever you damn well please you’d find this at the very beginning:

“Whereas Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law […]” (emphasis mine).

Right after that introduction you find this little piece of legal literature:

“The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the rights and freedoms set out in it subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society” (emphasis mine).

Your rights end where laws protecting society start.

So, back to Ann Coulter and advertising.

What Ann Coulter spews from that evil little mouth of hers is “speech.” Some of it is Hate Speech, which, in Canada, is illegal. So Ann, please quit complaining that your rights have been infringed upon. Every Canadian’s rights are infringed upon to protect society as a whole. It is the paradox of a “free” society. In order to have the freedoms we enjoy we must relinquish our sovereignty to those who would safeguard it. This is, very basically, the Social Contract.

To Coulter’s more vocal detractors? You shut up too. Ann Coulter is not stupid, nor is she an idiot. Coulter is a bully, but a bully with a book deal. The more you shout, the more books she sells. She knows it and if you’re half a brilliant as you think you are, you’d know it too. You don’t have to keep a constant vigil to figure out what she’s doing now, or who she’s offending. She’ll let you know herself. I guarantee it.

The reason so many products are so expensive is we help pay the bill for advertising them. There is no discernable difference in performance between a Puma, Nike, or Addidas shoe. The only difference is which one looks cooler in Maxim. Companies pay millions for this advertising. Stop giving it to Ann Coulter for free.

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